They called cut and I pretended I was asleep. For days before we did it, I kept teasing Josh that I was going to plant one on him! He was like-no! When we did it, he turned around in the sleeping bag and I had an arm around him. A funny story was when Kay crawled into my sleeping bag and I had the kissing scene with Josh. I spent three years chasing him around Harmony! Those scenes were so much fun-they were my favorites.
Josh was such a sweet guy and I'm going to miss him. He was a remarkable young man who did not get to live long enough, and I loved him. I believe that the courage that he possessed and the courage that he used in life is something that we should all hope that we have a fraction of in our own lives. I believe that Josh is one of those people. In life, you come across people who are extra special at different times and you realize that you are in the presence of someone who is extra special.
I have a truckload of wonderful memories of him. He believed in magic and he made magic happen. He was a fairy person-a little fairy person. It's almost like he orchestrated it! I could believe he would-he was a very powerful human being. That was very "starry" of him-to die on the day that Timmy died. Who would have thought that a little boy of 3 foot 2 could become a household name and have done such great work? But he did. He wanted to entertain and give people pleasure. That's what he decided he wanted to be and do. He drew a star on all his autographs, along with his motto-"Dream Big." Since he was a little boy of five in hospitals having endless heart operations, he started to watch TV. All of us that loved him have another guardian angel up there. That makes it a little easier to deal with. Thank you, Josh." If you are looking, you just might see something and it's a comfort. I've never seen a white egret in the park before. I was saying, "Come on Josh-give me a sign." And this snow white egret flew right beside me along the running track. I was walking in the park very early in the morning a few days after Josh had passed. There are signs-a sudden gust of wind when there is no breeze or a butterfly landing on your shoulder. I also believe that if you want to have a validation for that belief, you'll get one. I believe that the physical body is just an overcoat to the soul and that the soul goes on. I believe we come back many times to perfect the soul. I believe in reincarnation-all the things Tabitha believes. It wasn't difficult to do the scenes we did and have the fun we had, and let everyone who watched share in it. We had such rapport and we were so fond of each other. Josh and I both realized we were very fortunate to work together. He's still very much there in my mind and my heart. It is a very hard time for me, having to go back to work and knowing he isn't coming back to work. There's so much to say it's hard to know where to begin.
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